


The Way I Loved You

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Spark of the Resistance Fix-Its [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Heartbreak, M/M, POV Outsider, POV Rey (Star Wars), Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren, Past Torture, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Spark of the Resistance, Star Wars: Spark of the Resistance Compliant, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After the mission to Minfar, Rey comes across a secret of Poe’s that changes her perception of him.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Series: Spark of the Resistance Fix-Its [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067438
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6
Collections: Bad Day Collection





	The Way I Loved You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oldestcharm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldestcharm/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: This was oldestcharm’s idea. Title from “Hurts Like Hell” by Fleurie.

They’d won the day. Stopped the First Order (for now), and they and their unexpected ally were going their separate ways. Poe, though — Rey couldn’t help but notice that he was uncharacteristically subdued. It didn’t feel right. Usually Poe was snarky, loud, vibrant. Now, even as he all but stalked towards the Millennium Falcon's garage, he just seemed angry. Rey could feel it coming off him in spiky, hurt bursts. 

Rey sighed. It couldn’t possibly be about earlier when she’d brought up his capture by Kylo, could it? After all, it wasn’t like she was trying to intentionally hurt him. She’d been trying to make a point about free will, about not using whatever weapon the First Order had got their hands on. Maybe it hadn’t been well-thought-out, she thought. It had made sense to her at the time. 

Poe had joked about his torture in a way that Rey had found, truly, unsettling. The idea that someone could go through something so awful (that rumbling in her head like the prelude to a natural disaster) and come out of it making jokes...well, then again, she had mostly compartmentalized her feelings about the interrogation and having to relive her worst memories. 

She didn’t know how to react to someone using humor to cover up his pain. Not really. 

***

It was in the garage that Rey found Poe. She didn’t know if she expected to see him working on BB-8 or upgrading Black One or something. She definitely didn’t expect to see him...drawing. 

“What is this?” she said.

Poe sighed as he looked up at her. “You have any more bad memories you want to rub in my face?” he snapped. 

“I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you,” Rey said. 

“You’ve hated me since you stepped onboard. Even when I was trying to be friendly to you, and not in that creepy way, you just acted like I was the bantha dung you’d step in.”

”...I was?”

Poe nodded. “I don’t know why you hate me.”

Did she hate him? Really? He could be irritating without a doubt. Cocky. Impulsive. Sometimes making pragmatic decisions that struck her as heartless. But he could also be capable of startling generosity. 

“I don’t hate you,” she said. Why, then, did she shove Poe’s capture in his face? It wasn’t like it had a point. Had she, subconsciously, wanted to hurt him?

Poe snorted. “Could have fooled me.”

It was taking a closer look at his drawing that Rey saw that he was drawing someone. Ben?

”What’s this all about?” she said. 

***

”Kylo Ren didn’t start out as a monster,” Poe said after a while. “When he was a kid...don’t tell anyone who might tell anyone else, but we grew up together. As kids.”

He’d never told her such things. Then again, considering Kylo’s insistence on letting the past die, was it any wonder?

”What was he like?” Rey said. 

“A good kid. It would be easy to say that he was a monster but...he wasn’t. He was just a kid.” Poe ran a hand through his hair. “He was...quiet. A bit sad. But when he was happy, there was something incredibly special about it." A beat. “There were streaks of darkness in him even then, but he wasn’t a bad person. The galaxy isn’t split into good people and Dark Siders.”

”I know.” Maybe that was one benefit of Poe not having the Force. He could just see people as people, and not just alignments. 

“I still miss that kid. That man, before he became Kylo Ren. I can’t forgive him for invading my head, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t mean something to me.”

”It makes sense,” Rey said. It was shorter, but Kylo had meant something to her too. “I’m sorry, Poe. For reminding you of your capture. It was cruel. I thought it made sense at the time but...just because something makes sense in your head doesn’t mean it will make sense out loud.”

Poe nodded. Then, “Don’t tell anyone.”

”I won’t,” Rey said. “And that’s a promise.”


End file.
